Monday, May 26, 2008

Kissing 101

KISSING 101 By David Shriver

It seems that one of the main criteria I look for other than the obvious good looks body to die for and intelligence. if I am going to pursue a relationship.A girl just has to be a good kisser.
So you ask--By what standard do all girls kisses have to meet or be judged by? And I answer --well the perfect kiss of course --So then you might ask, And how do you know what the perfect kiss is? And I would most assuredly answer, because I have kissed the perfect kiss. So there --Let me tell you how I found the perfect kiss.
I was visiting friends in my old home town ,when a girl approached me and asked me If I infact recognized her, I responded by saying why yes I did you are Pam Martins little sister Angie.I hadn’t seen Angie or Pam in 30 years.
Pam was the last girl I dated before going over to Viet Nam, and was a cheerleader at our high school and graduated the same year as my little sister. I asked Angie what Pam was doing these days and Angie told me that She was Divorced and living in Tampa. I said no way I’ll have to call her some time --at that Angie whipped out her cell phone and said I’ll do better than that Dialed the phone and handed it to me. Pam answered the phone and when I told her who it was she about flipped out --talked and talked and made me promise to stop in and see her.
On my way home I said hey why not --gave Pam a call and got directions to her house and just about six o’clock in the evening pulled into her driveway. She walked out of the house, through the little gate around her yard and up to me as I got out of the car, put her arms around me and gave me that kiss.
I said Pam you really know how to kiss, She said yeah guys always say that --I aught to be a good kisser, You taught me when I was fifteen years old.hmmm no wonder. That’s right I was only eighteen, and you were fifteen --man.
Well other than the perfect kiss ,Pam had little else going for her. She had lived her life a little too fast and it unfortunately had caught up to her, She really looked rough from too many poor choices along the way.
So the perfect kiss --well maybe I should describe it a little.
It is soft and sweet, not rough
It is warm and wet but not sloppy
It is graduating in the fact that it starts out more like a nuzzle and ends with the sparks flying and stars shooting.
Your mouth isn’t closed but it’s not open either
I know it’s confusing --here let me show you.

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